Who's yo Mama?

My mom's birthday was this week and I am so very thankful that she is still around to celebrate with us. Growing up my mom and I never had a really close relationship. I knew she loved me and that was it. I didn't go to her to talk about anything because quite honestly she would judge you and never let you live anything down. She had grown up quite sheltered and never got into any trouble. She always expected me to be like that. That is where our problems started. You can't expect your children to be just like you and in a lot of instances you really don't want them to be. I know I made many mistakes that I never want my children to make. However, I understand that they will never be perfect and they will make mistakes. It is just human nature. I still make mistakes even as a parent. Mommyhood can push a woman to her breaking point. You don't know how hard it is gonna be to raise a teenager. After many years of trying to figure out the code I have decided that being a mom is about first and foremost establishing the fact that you are the parent and you make the rules. You need to be a parent first and then a friend. Being there for your child with open ears and a open mind is the best avenue. Never judge your child for the decisions or mistakes that they do make because these are lessons they will need throughout life. Don't make your children feel like they cannot come to you because if not you then where will they go. I can guarantee the advice you give will be better than the advice they get from Tom, Dick, and Harry that they go to school with. Also understand you being the "perfect parent" will never happen. You are going to hate yourself so many times even for simple things like forgetting to change a dirty diaper or having to tell your child no to things they want. Don't pick their friends for them. As bad as you want to do this...don't. Give them advice on friendship and tell them what a true friend is but let them decide who they gather with because if you push their friends away they will just rebel. Remember the tighter the leash the harder they pull away. They will go behind your back...believe that! Be a fun mom and do silly stuff together. Dance and sing around the house with them. Take them to the park or the movies when they are young and establish that bond. We were all teenagers once and we know how hard that time of life truly is. Give them all the support and love you have but also give them some independence. That love you share will always be there no matter what as it is the strongest love on the planet. YOU carried them for almost 10 months. You felt their every move. They are the only ones on the planet to have ever heard your heart beat from the inside. You gave them life. The most important thing to tell yourself....you are not a good parent until you hear the words "I hate you". So, even though I was never close to my mom and it took almost losing her to realize that I love her dearly and I know that she isn't perfect. I still love her for raising me and giving me a good life. Now a little fun. I got to thinking about all of the t.v. moms out there. Which of these moms makes you laugh and which ones would you choose to mother you if you could? I made a list of a few moms and their attributes that would contribute to the adult you now are. Here we go! 1. Peg Bundy

Bud: Mom, I've had a lousy day, I could really use some Motherly advice. Peggy: Shut up Bud! Oprah's doing a show about Mothers who don't pay attention to their sons. Okay so she wasn't perfect but come on now who wouldn't want Peg as their mommy. She had fashion sense....the big hair, high heels, and spandex pants! She was sure to assist you in acquiring lung cancer with all the cigarettes she smoked. You definitely would never worry about becoming obese because she never cooked...although you would have a lifetime supply of bon bons in the freezer. And, you wouldn't have to learn about sex from your friends at school because I'm sure you would learn from Peggy since she chased Al around non stop trying to get laid! 2. Marge Simpson

Marge: Now if you'll excuse me I have some dust that needs busting Marge...such a loving, calm, and devoted wife and mother. She would definitely win your friends over rocking that blue hair! Any woman who has tolerated over twenty years with the likes of Homer Simpson and has had to deal with a hellion like Bart should be given her PhD in Psychology and honored with the award for wife/mother of the friggin year! Marge you are my hero. 3. Lucy Ricardo

ETHEL: I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus. RICKY: Lucy, is this true? LUCY: No, I just implied that she was a little hippy... though she has got the biggest potamus I've ever seen. Oh my friggin Heavens....this wouldn't be a list without sweet Lucy Ricardo! Life would be grand with a mom like her! Lucy would keep you laughing at her crazy antics. She could teach you how to make your own wine for sure (who doesn't remember the grape smashing episode?). You could be pretty sneaky because poor Lucy was so very gullible and I don't think she could hand down a heavy sentence even if caught. Ahhhh to have a push over for a mom! 4. Rosanne Barr

D.J.: "Was I an accident?" Roseanne: "No, D.J., you were a surprise." D.J.: "Oh. What's the difference?" Roseanne: "Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it." D.J.: "Oh. Was Darlene an accident?" Dan: "No, Darlene was a disaster." Haha I would love to have Rosanne as my mother dearest. I think I would really fit in well with this dysfunctional, low income family. This was as much a reality show as any that claim to be today. Rosanne was obnoxious and often times seemed harsh on her insane in the brain kiddos but by the time the show was going off there was always a lesson learned. Rosanne cracked jokes, spoke her mind, and embarrassed the hell out of her kids....so much like myself! This is an example of a mom that although quite irritating at times and often unemotional in appearance she was always around for her kids to open up to..even if she didn't tell them what they wanted to hear. She never expected perfect kids! Rosanne you get an A+ from me. 5. Marion Cunningham

Take me back in time please. Marion's house was always clean, supper cooked, laundry washed, and kids happy! She proved that moms could be funny, wise, and caring all rolled into one big happy package. I bet Mrs. Cunningham never had to take an anti-depressant or nerve pill just to get through the day. She was the glue that help her family together. She showed us that when times got tough the family got tougher. No dysfunction in this family and they still had an awesome time together and very little time for fighting and feuding. Now I have no idea if Marion would be the same in today's non conforming society. I'm sure she might freak out just a little bit if Ritchie came home with a tattoo and an earring...maybe someone needs to update Happy Days and just see what happens. So there is my short list. Would you like any of these moms to nurture you? I think life would be considerably different with each one but that is my point! Although this women are totally different from each other at the end of the day even with their mistakes they loved their children. If you still have your mom around go find her and give her a long tight hug. Let her know that you do thank her for bringing you into this world and for not being perfect. Make a connection because it is never too late to bond!