Cancer sucks

As I sit here writing this I find tears streaming down my face. I awoke this morning and spent some time with my sweet little mittens. I love it so much when she puts her little hand on my cheek and lays her head on my chest. While holding her the phone rang. It was my sweet aunt who has been by my side helping me care for my mom since her car accident in 2010. She was in a pleasant mood telling me about her visit with mom when she nonchalantly mentioned that she wouldn’t be around to help much longer because three months ago she found out she had ovarian cancer. With that being said she just kept right on talking about other things. I felt my heart sink and the same emotions that washed over me many times before had hit me again. I’ve heard that nasty word so many times before and every time it led to us making funeral arrangements. Over the years I have lost my brother to leukemia (today being the 23rd anniversary of his death), my grandmother and aunt to breast cancer, my grandfather to prostate cancer, and my uncle to pancreatic cancer just to mention a few. The feeling of defeat time and time again after watching my loved ones suffer immense pain for what? I decided at the beginning of 2012 that this is the year I will learn to deal with my grief and I will overcome. This news has saddened me and punched me in the gut but I WILL NOT allow it to consume me and eat away at the very heart of my soul. As I sat there I decided to check my email. The very first one was an email on the blog I follow called The Monster In Your Closet. She was talking about the event she attended yesterday to raise funds for research in the fight against pediatric cancer. I had to smile because no matter how evil cancer is there are always going to be heroes out there who keep on fighting until there is a cure and we finally defeat it. Just as I wrote yesterday we take so much for granted in life. Our time here with our loved ones is very short and we should spend it wisely. Don’t miss an opportunity to say I love you or share a hug. Squeeze tightly and breathe in deeply the love you feel. As I end this I want to say I am so thankful to be alive another day and to have my children here with me on this beautiful day. I plan on getting outside, grilling, running and playing with the kids, and soaking up the gorgeous sunshine. Big hugs to each one of you!!